Second-hand Rose, or Judaism by proxy—my problem with a rabbinic interpretation of Sh’ma

I’ve been taking a class on Sh’ma with Rabbi Reuven Kimelman and Eliana Light, and it’s been fascinating—I’m learning different ways of interpreting the text that would never have occurred to me.  But the more Rabbi Kimelman talked about the tefillin functioning as reminders to give credit to HaShem, not the ancient rain god Ba’al, for rain, the more I kept thinking that something was missing.  Or, rather some*one.*

I realize that I’ve getting ahead of the curriculum, since we’ll be discussing the third paragraph of Sh’ma *next* Wednesday, but the issue is basically the same.

Here’s a quote from a comment posting on my blog some years ago [links added by me]:  “What is the purpose of a woman putting on tefillin/tzitzit? Is it to be like a man? is it to be closer to God? There is a story(I think is true) of a woman who asked R. Soloveichik if she could put on a Tallit. He told her to try wearing a pasul one(one fringe cut off). After a few weeks, he asked her how she felt wearing the Tallit, and she responded that she felt closer to God. He told her she could not wear it anymore and could not wear a tallit, because a pasul tallit should not have any effect on how she felt.(she was not fulfilling any commandment with a known pasul tallit, and any benefit she felt would have come from just the act of wearing the cloth and being like a guy.) So motivation is a prime issue.” 

Rabbi Soloveitchik *may* have been correct from a halachic (Jewish religious law) point of view, but I’ve always thought that he was totally incorrect in assuming that “any benefit she felt would have come from just the act of wearing the cloth and being like a guy.”  I’ve always felt that, assuming this story is true, the woman may have felt closer to God because it was probably the first time in her life that she’d ever worn a garment that was specifically intended for prayer.

To the best of my knowledge, the rabbis of old interpreted the tallit and tefillin as being either “beged ish” (men’s garments) forbidden to women, and/or as garments restricted to those obligated to observe time-bound commandments. They seem not to have given any thought to the needs of women to have our own religious lives apart from those of our fathers, brothers, husbands, and/or sons. As far as I know, there was never any Jewish religious garment intended for wear by women. (Head scarves and the like are also worn by nuns and Muslim women—modest dress is not exclusive to Jewish women.) So what’s a *woman* supposed to do when Sh’ma says that you should bind HaShem’s words on your hand and between your eyes as a reminder to give credit to G!d, not Ba'al, for rain--shouldn't this reminder also apply to women? And when Sh’ma says that you will see the fringe and remember all HaShem’s mitzot, what’s a *woman* supposed to look at?

I have now been wearing a tallit for 51 years, and I don’t feel as if it’s a real Morning Service until I recite the b’rachah and put it on.  For me, reciting the b’rachah and laying tefillin is just what I do when I pray the Weekday Shacharit.  I have zero interest in letting my husband be my “surrogate Jew.”  I insist on owning my own Judaism.